Friday, November 11, 2016

PARODY TIME-NOWHERE WILD


NOWHERE WILD

 

Open on a street outside of a large wooden building. Jake is marched down the street and inside. The building is a makeshift courthouse. Three judges sit at the bench.

Judge 1: Gentlemen, lead the prisoner to the bench. (Jake is led to the bench) You, young man, are charged with a number of very serious crimes.

Jake: Like what?

Judge 2: Several counts of hunting without a license.

Jake: But my family and I were just trying to survive, then I was just trying to survive alone, then Izzy and I were just trying to survive and get here, where I thought we were going to be treated better than this.

Judge 3: Young man, the world may have been turned upside down by an unforeseen flu pandemic but the law is still the law.

Jake: What else am I charged with?

Judge 1: Several counts each of entry into forbidden wilderness areas and unsafe transport of a canoe.

Jake: Your honours, again, we were just trying to survive. I was lost.

Judge 2: You must be very lost indeed, son, in order to have committed so many crimes at your age.

Judge 3: We hope an undetermined amount of time in our makeshift prison will straighten you out.

Jake: Don’t I get to make a statement in my own defense?

Judge 1: We considered that but it might trigger memories for Izzy so we’re going to have to say no.

Jake: This is outrageous. What kind of future is this new world we find ourselves in going to have if this type of garbage is still going on?

Judge 2: Don’t make us tack on a charge of practicing medicine without a license. (Pointing to the men who brought Jake in) Guards, take him to the cells.

(They start to lead Jake toward the back door of the courtroom)

Judge 3: Hope we don’t have to see you back here.

 

Closing credits.

 

Based on “Nowhere Wild” by Joseph Beernink.

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